Blog Post 5

REVISION--Think about two things:  a time when you felt misunderstood or ignored; then a time when you really felt accepted and “heard”.  What can you remember about how the other person acted and what they said in these instances? From this – what can you say about the “gift” of listening?

A very vital part of communication is listening; it helps the receiver to decode the message that is being sent. Listening is not only hearing what a person says but, it is also about understanding the message that is being said.  Depending on the listener the message that is being sent can be perceived in many different ways. A message can also be accepted or lost depending on the listener.

I can remember a time when someone really listened to what I had to say. I went home a few weeks ago and was telling my mom school was going. She gave me really good eye contact and was very attentive.  Her facial expressions told me that she was interested. She asked questions and gave me good feedback that told me she was proud. She really understood what I was saying and cared about what was going on. My mom responded by using active listening. She also used mindful processing and the attention was very voluntary in the conversation.

I can also remember a time when someone did not listen what I had to say.  I was talking to my little sister and she was texting her friends. I was explaining how our dad got mad at me because I did not fold his clothes like he had asked. I also told her I was sleep when he asked and do not remember saying that I would. So figuring she would have my back with sibling support, I was waiting for a response that did not come until I called her name. She did not look like she was into what I was saying and gave hardly me any eye contact. Her full attention was to her text message and the TV.  The only feedback I received were the two syllable responses like the uh- huh’s and mm-hm’s.  Then she asked me to repeat what I had just said, which aggravated me. I felt like she could have cared less what I had to say and what was going on.  So then it turned into an argument with her. She was not a active listener at all and she used mindless processing.

No matter if you’re the one who is sending the message or is the receiver listening, it is important to pay attention. As the sender you need to be mindful of how your receiver is pay attention. If you’re the receiver you have to be aware of how you show the sender how you’re listening.